In a year of most unwelcome changes, a big and very welcome one (well, for me at least) is just on the horizon. Come Thursday this week, we pack the dogs in the back of the cars and point our headlights due west (directions are basically: head south from Chicago a bit, turn right, then go straight for about 2500 miles). Come Halloween, we should be pulling up to our new home in the Claremont Hills of Berkeley.
I’ve been unable/resistant to write about the unwelcome changes from the past year. Some point soon, perhaps this will come. I don’t want to just turn my back on the past four years and move on. The nature of change is that one’s state changes, at times drastically, but always from moment to moment in even the smallest of degrees. But, it’s all too easy to forget where, who, what you were those moments, months, or years ago.
This change as I said is welcome. Moving back to what for me was always home is exciting and in some ways feels like a small return on the investment of pain and tears I’ve made this past year. But for me, change has always been easy (well, at least in my adult life). Be it dodging curveballs or making premeditated leaps. Change means difference and difference is always exhilarating, even though it may be accompanied by pain, loss, or even terror.
And there is some terror in me right now. Will home be the same as it once was? Will I succeed in my new endeavor or fall flat on my face? Will my partner in crime be happy? That’s the nature of change – you never know how you’ll come out the other side, but you make the leap anyway (or at times, you’re pushed off the edge), cross your fingers, and hope for the best.
Here’s to hoping. Regardless, I’m so looking forward to seeing what’s on the other side.